Don't leave me (Part 2)

Guilt kicks in and I start to see,
The edge of the bed, where your nightgown used to be.

It's been three days, and you're still in a coma. Your surgery went well, considering the two fractured ribs, internal bleeding, punctured lung, bleeding ears, and brain trauma. The surgeons had to call in more doctors because the surgeries took so long. It freaked us all out when they did that. They said you're weak, that your body took a lot of damage, and they don't know what will happen now. I didn't move away from your bedside, and I still can't look away from you when I sit here. I'm waiting for you to wake up or move a tiny bit. It feels weird to not hear your voice, and I don't want to listen to the voice mails you left me. That's the kind of thing a person does once someone dies, and you're not dead. You're not leaving me here, not like this. You know how much I need you, but you don't even see me.

When I fell asleep after the first day, I was hoping I'd wake up to see you looking at me. But that hasn't happened yet. I just have to keep waiting and praying. Our friends texted us, hoping you get better soon, and I couldn't help but go through pictures we take all the time. I need you to wake up soon, so I can take another picture of you. Knowing you, you'll want to delete the picture at first, but you'll come around to keeping it. Relatives kept stopping by, giving flowers and trying to comfort your parents, but their eyes have a haunted look, one that even I haven't been able to do anything about. If you were awake, you'd probably have an amazing idea about what I could do for them.

I went home yesterday to get some fresh air and check on our puppies myself. My brothers have been keeping an eye on them, but you know what dogs are like; they'll get sad if one of us isn't around. It took a while before they calmed down enough to let me do anything around the house. I kept looking at my phone, hoping it would ring, hoping it would be either of our parents, letting me know that you had woken up. I took a nap after cleaning our place, and I dreamt of you. It was just the two of us, on vacation, and we had gone back to your house in India. It was really hot and humid in the dream, and we kept buying water everywhere we went, but I was with you, and it felt so real that I didn't want to wake up.

I decided to stop by the dealership on my way to the hospital today. Your car was totaled, but insurance is taking care of your new car. I keep talking about other stuff because I really need you to wake up. I'm trying to stay busy and do something or another, so I don't think about life without you, because being without you is something I can't deal with. We promised each other that we would always face life together, no matter what, and I need you to hold your end of the bargain. I know you won't leave me here, not like this, not without saying goodbye first. I have faith in you.

Don't leave me (Part 1)

I smiled as I walked into the building where my office was. Today was a good day; it was raining, I had gotten paid last night, and I had found out this morning that my body fat percent had fallen by another percent. I took the stairs to my floor-sixth floor, not that much exercise-and was pleased once again at the fact that I wasn't out of breath at the top. I checked the mailbox outside my door; a letter from my department manager congratulating me on my performance last month, and a letter from the engineering department, reminding me that convocation was in two days. Today was indeed a wonderful day, and I said a prayer thanking God for all His blessings.

I had just taken my coat off when I felt my phone vibrate; I looked at it, and it showed three voice mails from her. I wasn't that surprised; my office was one of the few places in the building that got reception, so I must have missed her calls while I was coming to the office. I opened the first voice mail, and my blood ran cold when I heard it. I was on the phone with her instantly, and ran out as after telling my supervisor that I had an emergency. She was scared, she was crying, she didn't know what to do. I kept talking to her, and while running down the stairs, I dialed 911 from my other phone.
"Hi, my fiance has had an accident, she's at Greenville and Richmond, black Pontiac Solstice, she's been hit badly."

My building was two minutes away, so I pulled up behind her car just as the ambulances and police cruisers did. I remember seeing the EMT's run to her before I could, and saying that she was unconscious; them putting her on a stretcher and rushing her to the ambulance, and an officer calling for a shroud for the other car's driver. The other car had run a red light, hit her, and flipped over. I remember an EMT guiding me to the back of the ambulance, then staring at her while she fought to breathe, and getting out at the hospital and staring at the doctors waiting for us. It was only then that I called her parents and then mine, letting them know what had happened.

I'm sitting in the ER waiting room right now. The waiting room feels cold, like it's an uninviting, forbidding place, but then, no one wants to ever be here. I've been sitting here for the last four hours, praying and just waiting. I just want to hear her voice again, hear her laugh, see her smile at me, I just want to know she's okay. Both our families are here, stressed out beyond belief. No one is talking, because we're all praying, quietly, having faith that God will grant us our wish.

365 Day Project, Day 103

Parking lot filled up overnight, almost magically. And it was snowing all day today.

365 Day Project, Day 55

Having fun in the snow.

365 Day Project, Day 18

Car lights & traffic lights.

365 Day Project, Day 7

Car lights during rush hour, taken from a bridge while passing in a car.
Did you know you could be wrong, and swear you're right-Shadow Days, John Mayer.
The day that I got my first (and hopefully only one ever) C in college.
Biggest shock of my life.
And I am not a person who gets surprised easily.