This is worth fighting for, isn't it?

Shehzad Roy ne gaana banaya kisi ko samaj na aya
Angelina Jolie aya baba sab ko samaj aya


I am in love with this song right now.
Yeah, just totally in love with it.
It's funny.
It helps me stay sane.


I got the color fade idea from Beyond Timid at The Enigma's Hideout.

It took me three hours to make all those letters last night.
But as usual, it was worth the effort.
It's been over a month since I last made origami.
I know why it took me so long to get back to it.
No, I wasn't busy or anything.
Just.. disheartened, I guess.


But.
Today.
I have two poems from two amazing bloggers.
Next week, I'm doing guest posts.
I was going to start off with The One Who Leaves Me Breathless writing a guest post, but she can't. Don't Ask why.
But if you'd like to write a guest post, email me @ ovais92@gmail.com.
Now, two poems. :)


Firstly, from Rosette Princess at Once Upon A Time.

I,

Am,

Here today,

Who knows when,

I'd leave and go away.

Like an autumn leaf, I'll just be silent.

But I'll love you forever even if I sleep alone in my grave. 

Maybe this love was written in our destiny, I'll be there even once I am gone but you'll never find me.

I won't wipe away tears when I'd lay there cold and stiff.

Some people may call it true love

And some say soul mates,

But our love,

Will live ,

For ,

Eternity.

Secondly, from The Butterfly Effect at The Butterfly Effect.

now i see you.

now i don't.

you just wouldn't stop.

just tell me please

what should i make of it?

or should i even care?

because, 

the world doesn't revolve around me

your world.

i just can't accept that i doesn't

not anymore, at least.

does it?

I'm confused.

sometimes i just know it

know it deep inside my heart

that it does

and the next moment 

i wonder.

i was so sure

a while ago that you've moved on

and now again i find myself

back, to where i started from.

show me what really is

take me inside your mind.

you always have been, and will be,

hard to figure out.

I'm featuring these poems from these two bloggers-specifically these two poems-because I can relate to them so much. But if you like poetry, you should really check out both these blogs. They can write so amazingly that I'm waiting for the day that they write a book.

Oh, and before I forget.

I woke up the other day having had written a song in my dream.

The lyrics were, "The rain started fleeing, Under an old weak sun."

And I woke up and wrote them down.

That was random of me, I just realized.

But yeah.

And my favorite color these days is joined to my mood.

Black.

And I have no idea why I feel sad. But I just do.

I know I’m waiting, Waiting for something, Something to happen to me
But this waiting comes with, Trials and challenges, Nothing in life is free
I wish that somehow, You’d tell me out aloud, That on that day I’ll be ok
But we’ll never know cause, That’s not the way it works, Help me find my way

I know I’m waiting, Yearning for something
Something known only to me, This waiting comes with
Trials and challenges, Life is one mystery
I wish that somehow, You’d tell me out aloud
That on that day you’ll forgive me
But we’ll never know cause
That’s not the way it works
I beg for your mercy

Sami Yusuf-Make Me Strong

Believe.

To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.

I was going through my phone, looking at old texts, and my blog, looking at my old posts.

I found two that have had over a thousand views each, and I wanted to share them again.

Firstly, one of my favorite posts. This was about my dreams.
This is why I will always go on and never give up. I can take anything just to see my dreams come true.

The One Who Leaves Me Breathless is a real person, yes. And I really, really love her. 
You guys will probably think that I need to go to a mental hospital once you read this.. but I'm fine, really. This gives me a reason to live, you know? 
And if one of you dreams of your kids and sees them in your sleep, then you'll feel the same way that I do. 


They're Aral and Ayza.. Aral is one year old, and Ayza is three years old. And amazing and really intelligent children. I can't even begin to describe the love that I have for them, even though I've only seen them in my dreams. If I don't dream of them, then it's like my dreams were totally empty. Like my world is empty without her. They both have my eyes. And by 'her' I mean TOWLMB.


But yes, the dreams.. So in the first one, which was over a year ago, I'm driving a 350Z and she's in the passenger seat, holding a baby boy who looks just like her. 


In the second one, I'm sitting on the prayer mat/Jai namaz and saying Dua, and Aral-that's his name-is running towards me, and he's around one or two years old at that time. 


Then I'm laying down on my bed with a migraine and both the kids are asleep.. There's a small light in the corner so the room is almost totally dark.. And she's sitting next to me, trying to make the migraine go away by talking to me.. 


Aral wakes up, but doesn't make noise since Ayza is asleep.. Smart kid, he knows his sister is still asleep.. and we put him back to sleep together.. 


She's playing with Ayza-who looks exactly like her mom-and their toys, and I'm laughing & taking a video.. And Ayza looks up at me, and I can see the intelligence in Ayza's eyes.. Aral has his mom's iPhone and he keeps acting like he's going to dip it into a glass of water, but keeps taking it out and laughing.. 


She's exhausted, so she crawls into my lap and goes to sleep there.. and then Aral comes in, he's half-asleep, and he wants to sleep in my lap too, so I let him lean against me and go to sleep.. Ayza comes in then with her mom's Iphone and shows me her plans for my surprise birthday.. 


She wants to go on a vacation to Italy for three days and relax, so I help her pack.. and then the kids walk in and they won't let her go, so we give them an Ipad each as a surprise for letting her. 
When I told her about that dream, she said we'll go for a proper family vacation and not her alone.. Let's see what she says after eight years. :D

We were walking through some mountains with some friends and she knew the path through to the beach. And when we got to the beach, there was this house and the two of us ran to it while everyone else sat down for a picnic. And we walked in to find Aral watching cartoons and she picked him up and he said Ayza was sleeping upstairs.

We were shopping with Aral and Ayza and when we got in the car, they both wanted to sit in front.

We were at Arena and Aral was running around so I had to pick him up and bring him back to Ayza and her as they waited for us.

I've had many more dreams of them, but these are the most memorable ones..

This was the second one. After all, The One Who Leaves Me Breathless is one in seven billion.
You're one in a billion

I saw this written on one of my posts a few months ago, and it feels good to still feel the way.

If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it.

Right. In my next post, I'm going to be featuring two poems that two brilliant bloggers have written. Their poetry is so awesome that I wish I had written it. Who those two bloggers are is a surprise.

Oh, and before I forget. I went to Rajoo's ice cream store in Bahadarabad today. I am not going to go back to America without going there one more time and going to Meerut as well. Those two places simply have some of the best (I'm without a word here) foods? that this city has.

Because I'm like a boy with a new toy

I have a new cameraaaa.

And I love taking pictures.

So I'm posting some of the eighty pictures I took today. It took an hour just to upload them.

The first one is of my one year old cousin. She kept running to me so I would take a picture of her. Bet the next word she learns after 'smile' will be 'camera.'

Shadows.

My Cameraaaa.

Me?

I just love this one.

This was actually a birthday present from my Great-grandmother.

This clock is older than I am.

My brothers were playing with legos. So yeah.

This chandelier is  ancient. It's been with my great-grandmother since.. ages.

I couldn't resist, you know?

 Reflection. Upside down, everything still can make sense.

And that tells you everything about my dayyy.


The One Who Leaves Me Breathless, I love you.
Thank you so much for helping me pick this camera.

Will you be my chamack chalo?

Hii.


I am happy. Yes, very happy. Even though I miss The One Who Leaves Me Breathless like a lot.


Compare that to how I was yesterday. It was like how the rest of the year had been.


I woke up sad, my friend's dad had passed away, and so I spent time with him. His mum had passed away in January, so he really needed someone to keep checking on him.


But yeah, I went to my great-grandmother's house after that. And I got my camera. Which I had waited a long time for!

My present from mum.

don't say a word
just come over and lie here with me
cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see


And I just love my camera. It is amazing. And I can finally take awesomer pictures! I've been taking pictures since sixth grade. Using an ancient Fuji camera and my cellphone camera.

This is a picture of a model of the Great Wall that one of my teachers got me.

See how amazing my pictures turn out to be?
Where was I? Oh, yeah. How yesterday was.


My last day of being Eighteen was.. okay. Did I already say that?
Anyway.


I played cricket. Something I haven't done in years. Like a proper game with my brothers. Since I love soccer.
And I listened to music for most of the day.


Girl you are my chammak challo.
Where you go girl, I'm gonna follow.
What you want girl just let me know.
You can be my chammak challo.


My baby cousin was dancing to Chammak Challo and that reminded me of Aral and Ayza. Aral and Ayza are, by the way, the two babies that I dream about and will, with God's will and blessing, see one day.
Which reminds me, I was missing The One Who Leaves Me Breathless so much that I actually forgot I was turning nineteen soon.

And today?
Today was.. new. different. a new experience. But then it's the new experiences that make life worthwhile, don't they?


I thought that my beloved was asleep, since she had a very exhausting day. She surprised me, and really made my day.

I was praying at that time-for her, yes-and it's something I do on every birthday when the clock strikes twelve. I pray. There is no better way to start the new year, is there?


I slept quite a bit. And texted a lot. And ordered Dunkin, since my friends forgot it was my birthday and told me they couldn't come to hang out at Dunkin Donuts.

And above all, I took pictures with my new camera. It's the best feeling ever. The third best feeling after being loved and knowing that there is a God above.

Forgiven. :)

Therefore, so far, my nineteenth birthday has gone.. okayish.
The One Who Leaves Me Breathless, I love you and miss you soo much.


I really hope that this is as random as my posts used to be.

Kaise mujhe tum mil gayi-How did I find you

When you feel like everything is falling apart, like it's you've been hurt too much, like it's the end, that's when you smile and let no one see how you really feel inside.


Kaise mujhe tum mil gayi
Kismat pe aaye na yakeen.


It's the first day of winter vacations.
And I have a cough and a cold. But no migraine, thankfully.

When I'm without The One Who Leaves Me Breathless, or haven't spoken to her much that day or something, even if I'm surrounded by people, I still feel alone. Like yesterday, when I was with my colleagues but was missing her. I may be texting three people but if she doesn't reply to my texts, I feel like it's too quiet.


I'm supposed to be happy since it's my birthday tomorrow and my friends and family expect me to celebrate all week. And because the winter vacations are here.
But I don't feel happy. And I'm trying to be happy and smile and appreciate by letting it out here.

I love you, The One Who Leaves Me Breathless. Now and forever. It's too quiet without you.


I hope everyone has a much better and happier vacation than the one I'm expecting.