In a world of so many, you're the one

Where you been? Where you been all my life?
Girl you glistening, the way you look in the light
It’s obvious that I want something from you

When life knocks you down on your knees, remember you're in the perfect position to pray.

This is another one of my six a.m. posts. I woke up early and had free time, so decided to post.

My life is really hectic these days, between school & homework. Yet I push it all away and go to sleep when I'm sick of it all.

I wrote this poem a year ago as my second post on this blog. Time to re-post it, as it still applies.
One million swords,
One direction,
All unsheathed, pointing, directing,
One object, in the center.

Time ceases to exist,
A million shards,
Spread out and still beating together,
Unable to be glued together again.

Listening to the music,
Watching the disco lights rotate and change,
Smelling the fresh food in your plate,
You're outside the party hall, watching your friends have fun through the window.

The breeze in your face,
The stars shining from above,
The city lights spread out before you,
You're watching the peaceful view all alone.

The earth's gravity pulling you,
As you fall toward the bright lights,
No cushion to save you,
And then you realize-it's not a dream.

The screams of surprise, shock, and horror,
The red-and-blue lights flashing,
The white cloth,
Your vision blurs.

The end.

The One Who Leaves Me Breathless, I miss how things used to be. I miss being told that I was loved, that someone cared. That someone would be there for me when I had a migraine & would make it go away. I miss that feeling. It's been a hundred and seven days since things changed totally.
I love change at times and I hate it at other times. It's just sad, that stuff had to change and I still have no idea how they did. It's just sad, that there's just a month or two left when I can be with you and yet it's like you don't want to be around me. I was warned that things might change. But it was meant to be this way.

There's times when I'm actually looking forward to going back to America. For one thing, I'll be on my own. And it rains a lot more in New Jersey than it does here, and I love the rain. It'll be fun sitting in the rain again. And I'll be able to stop thinking about her all the time. There's very few people who'll actually miss me here, but they can live without me. They lived their lives without me before I met them, so they can still continue.

Yes, I have to wait, but waiting means that I don't know how things will turn out. I'm simply hoping for the best & going along with the flow.

I try so hard

It doesn't make a difference to you

I make a mistake,

Laugh at me,

Don't realize you hurt me,

I'm not feeling well,

Blame me for something I do,

You're being unfair to me,

But you don't see,

Don't realize you hurt me.
There's more to this, but it's even sadder, so it's encrypted. If you want the code, let me know by commenting.

Show encrypted text

I have to go force myself to have breakfast now.

Disappointments are just God's way of saying "I've got something better". Be patient, live life, have faith.

Hope everyone has a great week!

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
I told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember
But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough

It's not the end of the world

Finally, peace.


It's so quiet when everyone is asleep and there's no one to text.
Or anyone to talk to.


Now, if it could just rain and I could sit outside when it does, it would be just perfect.


It's not the end of the world if you're not loved. It's not the end if you have a lot of things to handle and just one you. It's not the end if you have to wait. It's not the end if you flunk an exam. It's not the end if you lose someone.


You can be happy. You can live the life you want to be. You can become the person you want to be.


Don't count the things you think you have done for someone. Instead, count the number of times you felt better just because you made them happy.


Do something for yourself every day. Take time out for yourself. Whether it's five minutes of taking pictures, ten minutes of reading, and hour of sleeping, or three hours of sleep, do it.

Don't fall in love. Fall off a bridge, it hurts less.

I feel so sick.
I feel like I've been crying and puking all day.
Even though I haven't been crying or puking.


And I have no idea how to get back to being normal.. and happy.. and everything.


And yes, don't ever let yourself fall in love. Fall off a bridge, it hurts less.
Because love is the most insecure, undependable thing ever.
It's like giving someone a fully loaded gun and asking them to aim at you and fire. If they miss, you're lucky. If they get you.. then yeah, it just takes one bullet.


God help you if you ever fall in love.

One Hundred Consecutive Posts

I'm counting the street lights
It's all i can do
While driving myself crazy trying to get to you
Feels wrong at the right time
To reveal my hand
It's like i'm doing the worst i can
To make you understand

And this makes one hundred consecutive posts where I have said something about The One Who Leaves Me Breathless.

I am going to post less about her now. Only when she's on my mind a lot. It's part of working on focusing on other stuff so she's not my everything. Since anything can happen, and making someone your everything is..dangerous.


The kind of person worth sticking with is someone who thinks the sun shines on you whether you are in a good mood or a bad mood, whether you feel ugly or pretty, whether you're handsome or not.

I took a day off from school today. Had a terrible migraine. It was my first day off, so you can imagine how bad it was. I usually go even with a migraine.

Dekha na tha, kabhi hum ney yeh sama

Aisa nasha, tere pyar ney diya

Socha na tha

Kho gayay sapnon mein hum

So I finished my homework once my migraine hurt a bit less and spent the day relaxing and watching Juno-which turned out to be a lame movie-and Post Grad and Equilibrium.

A friend of mine asked me why I stayed in Karachi instead of going to America. My response? Didn't feel like it. Love the weather here. Especially sea view. And the camels there. Though they smell like crazy. :P

Now I am going to go sleep. Enjoy the pictures!

Dunya humein ab jo kahe
Dunya ki rasmon ko tor tor chalein
Rahein humein ab jo kahe
Raahon ki baahon ko chor chor chale

Buy You A Drank

I feel sick.

Totally sick.

But.

I am trying to smile.

Why?

Because I made it today. That's a good enough reason to smile.

Today you were far away
and I didn't ask you why
What could I say
I was far away
You just walked away
and I just watched you
What could I say

Tonight you just close your eyes
and I just watch you
slip away
How close am I to losing you

Consecutive.

98th Post with something about The One Who Leaves Me Breathless. 90th Day of being without something..

You're the one who introduced me to most of my music.

You're the one who makes me more happy than anyone else can.

You're the only one I've ever loved in all my nineteen years.

You're the only one I fell for after eleven years in the same school.

You're the only one I'll ever love.

You're the only one who leaves me breathless.

If our love was a fairy tale
I would charge in and rescue you
On a yacht baby we would sail
To an island where we'd say I do

And when we have babies they will look like you
It'll be so beautiful if that came true
You don't even know how very special you are

You leave me breathless
You're everything good in my life
You leave me breathless
I still can't believe that you're mine
You just walked out of one of my dreams
So beautiful you're leaving me breathless.

I was reading my posts from August and September and I found an interesting dream that I had posted about.

It was that there were two hundred guys out to find her because she said no to me. And I was standing right next to her, waiting for them.

I promise you won't feel a thing
Cause everything the world could throw
I'll stand in front; I'll take the blow for you.

You touch these tired eyes of mine
And map my face out line by line
And somehow growing old feels fine
I listen close for I'm not smart
You wrap your thoughts in works of art
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart.

There's only one person on my mind and in my thoughts and everything, and that's The One Who Leaves Me Breathless.

Soo.