Email # 2 of 2: Of faith

I still go with everything that I say after this. I sent this email to my best friend around more than a year ago.


I was depressed pehle, you know?
With all the parents/financial/choosing my career stuff going on, I was nearly going out of my mind. But. I talk to Allah every day, you know? And I've found....that no matter what, He's ALWAYS there. You can't hear Him talk back-you don't see Him-but you get the feeling in your heart that He's up there and listening to you, you know what i mean?


Try it....it makes me cry every time I do it, but it keeps me going everyday. No matter what, I know that this world is just a trial for us. Nothing matters except that we follow the Quran and the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet. After all, the Quran had Allah's commands to us, right?


We go to paradise if we obey those, right? Grades....mean nothing. Other people's taunts...mean nothing. Money....means nothing. Pain....even migraines...mean nothing. All that matters is doing the right thing in Islam. I may sound like a religious guy or whatever, but you've known me...you know i was always carefree half the time and dead serious the other half.


Now i'm always calm and thoughtful more. I haven't spoken this much for ages, I was SO afraid that I was retreating into myself, you know?
I haven't been hyper for months now. But I realized....it's all part of a bigger plan. We're all part of a bigger plan. There's nothing out there that can harm you as long as you say the Ayat-ul-kursi after every namaz and do that which is right. Keep your parents smiling, forget everyone else. My brothers may be annoying as hell, they may not get any reprimands from my parents when they bug the hell out of me, but I still love them. I can't imagine life without them. I just want them to grow up and be good people. I don't ignore them when they get annoying, I glare at them or throw a pillow or something. Or maybe raise my voice...but yeah.


We're all part of one brotherhood, and if our own family doesn't stand up for us, then who will? Not our friends. Not our distant relatives. Allah says to take care of our parents and families RIGHT AFTER He gives us the command to worship Him and remember that He is the One and Only God. Can you imagine how big a command that is?


I can't...Allah created us. Can you imagine that? There are BILLIONS of galazies out there. Every one has TRILLIONS of stars. Can you imagine that? It made me feel SO SMALL. And the worries we have....like grades and all...are nothing.


There are people who think of their kids. Where they may be. If they can find food tomorrow. If they will be alive tomorrow. If they should have been nicer to their family member in the last words they spoke to them before their accident. Imagine THAT for one second.

It's not the end of the world

Finally, peace.


It's so quiet when everyone is asleep and there's no one to text.
Or anyone to talk to.


Now, if it could just rain and I could sit outside when it does, it would be just perfect.


It's not the end of the world if you're not loved. It's not the end if you have a lot of things to handle and just one you. It's not the end if you have to wait. It's not the end if you flunk an exam. It's not the end if you lose someone.


You can be happy. You can live the life you want to be. You can become the person you want to be.


Don't count the things you think you have done for someone. Instead, count the number of times you felt better just because you made them happy.


Do something for yourself every day. Take time out for yourself. Whether it's five minutes of taking pictures, ten minutes of reading, and hour of sleeping, or three hours of sleep, do it.

Stand By Me

So lay me down
Tell me what I wanna hear
Take me down
There's nobody else I'd rather be with.


I am feeling much, much, much better.
All because of the only person who always stands by me and helps me.
The One Who Leaves Me Breathless, I love you. I love you so so so much. Smile.


This is my December
This is my time of the year
This is my December
This is all so clear.

I love the winter weather. And it's finally here. Holidays and the cool breeze means that December is always awesome. And the world celebrates my birthday.


If we don't kill ourselves,
We'll be the leaders of a messed-up generation.


I am focusing on the positive side of things. Nothing negative, as of now. Amen.


A huge Thank-You to the other side of me at the other side of me for awarding me!
Here's what she said:

I was at Hyperstar the other day, thinking of Edward Maya's This is My life when they played it. I almost, almost, almost smiled then. That song has one memory. A three day memory, of when I was going to America last year. I listened to that song non-stop during the way.


This, this is my life
I'm looking for you, searching love in your eyes
This, this is my life
I'm chasing a dream that fades away in the night.

I love the breeze outside. It's just perfect. December has so many memories. Some are happy. And some are sad.


And the heart has no face
And I promise you that our thing
Is never going to end
And love lives in the soul

You leave me breathless.

I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You're on my mind.. Like all the time.

No, wait. You're always on my mind.
Who am I referring to?
I'm talking about The One Who Leaves Me Breathless.


She's my most favorite person in this world. She's the one who motivates me all the time. She's the one I'll do anything for. Which is why I'm trying to be positive. She loves me too, yes, for those of my followers who missed out on that post. She's just really busy studying. Oh, and she's smarter than I was at her age, but don't let that go to your head, okay? :P

That is how you jumped on me and hugged me in my dream, by the way.


Oh girl, you stand.. by me.
I'm forever yours.. faithfully.


Right, so. I have a migraine again. I had one yesterday. That was a horrible, horrible, horrible one. This is better. I really really feel like puking, though. But I am still trying to be positive here.


If I stumble,
if I fall,
Forgive me,
I'm just learning as I go along.


I have a question. Why did humpty dumpty sit on the wall?


Randomness, I know.

Smile, an everlasting smile,
A smile can bring you near to me.
Don't ever let me find you gone,
Cause that would bring a tear to me.


If you ever have to walk on the road and not on the sidewalk, always in the middle. That way, any car will see you. And you have a much higher chance of being run down too :D


This world has lost it's glory
Let's start a brand new story.


It's supposed to rain this week. In Karachi. Amen to that, LOL.


Remember how I said that I would post more of my quotes and stuff? I have a bunch of quotes on the page up there somewhere. *Points up.*


These are different ones.


Sometimes you just have to run away
So you can see who will come after you.
Sometimes you just have to talk quieter
Just to see who's listening.
Sometimes you have to step up in a fight
Only to see who's standing by your side.
Sometimes you have to make a wrong decision
Only to see who's there to fix it.
You have to let you of the one you love
Just to see if they will ever come back.


Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.


Two wrongs don't make a right. But three lefts do.


To love at all is to be vulnerable-C.S. Lewis.


This wasn't a long post. I have a migraine, so please bear with me.
And no, no new surprises yet. But I'm working on three big projects. :D

Have an awesome week!!!

Lights will guide you home

Lights will guide you home..
And ignite your bones..
And I will try to fix you..

I went to Lyceum yesterday. It was my college.. I went there for a year to do my AS.
It's been over a year since I saw the inside of that place, and I almost died with depression on the way home after visiting.

Stuck in reverse..

It wasn't that I wanted to go back to that time, no. It was the memories.. of how depressed I used to be. How my best friends left me just a few weeks before. How The One Who Leaves Me Breathless had said no to me back then. How the migraines used to totally incapacitate me. How the doctors couldn't help..

I am so thankful that I'm not that depressed anymore. I made some amazing friends at Lyceum. I learnt so much more at Lyceum, but I would still never go back in time to then.. Even though I beat everyone in the school at Foosball.

Anyway.

I need a change of topic.

And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for a while.


I am so tired and sleepy. Been awake since 5ish, and had to keep standing and running around in school-yes, school, we had our third day of Parent Teacher Meetings today-so I'm just totally tired, and not wanting to sleep.

I am looking forward to dreaming, though.

I will protect you from all around you
I will be here, don't you cry.


I went to Pizza Hut today, and they played Backstreet boys' As long as you love me.
I sang along the entire time, but I couldn't remember the name of the song.
Obviously, The One Who Leaves Me Breathless was on my mind the entire time.
I kept wondering if my mom had any idea of how mesmerized my other half leaves me.

I don't care who you are
Where you're from
What you did
As long as you love me.

Although loneliness has always been a friend of mine
I'm leaving my life in your hands
People say I'm crazy and that I am blind
Risking it all in a glance.


I'm actually awake because I've barely spoken to her all day, so I'm staying up as long as I can. Though I have a feeling I can't stay awake much longer, I keep closing my eyes.


I've tried to hide it so that no one knows
But I've guess it shows
When you look into my eyes
What you did and where you're coming from
I don't care, as long as you love me, baby.

Sixty-One Steps.

I know that I've been posting more and more.. frequently.

Blogging is becoming more and more fun, honestly.

Why?

Because of you all.

You all are awesome. Simply. Awesome.

Forty-five followers? I used to have two.

Two to forty-five?

*Smiles*

Since this is a long post, I am going to award people first, and talk later.

Gives you a reason to write a long comment, by the way.
Did I mention that I love long comments?

First off, to KN at And I have a Stone-heart

Her blog is number one in my favorites list. If you want to read about something interesting, funny, and true.. You go there. =)

Second, to Meghana at Mistakes and Miracles

I always go over to her page whenever I need to smile. Which is saying something, considering how depressed I get.

Next, to Ifra Khaliq at Rambled Thoughts

What can I say? She reminds me.. of myself. Only she's a whole lot more awesome.

Fourth, to Farsilla at I'm Farsilla

Her blog is filled with interesting things. You might want to check it yourself instead of having me describe it =)

The next one goes to two bloggers.

Shygurl94 at Me, Myself, and I

and to

Zeinab at Enargeia

These two blogs really make me think and remind me that there are so many other amazing people out there =)

Last, but not least, to Camellia Day at My Thoughts In One

If there was someone whom I'd envy, it would be her. Why? You can go over to her blog and see for yourself. After all, pictures speak louder than words.


You must have been sent from heaven to earth to change me
You're like an angel
The thing that I feel is stronger than love believe me
You're something special

If you guys want to know what's been going on in my life, I suggest you read the previous nine posts.

Yes, nine.

I have a migraine right now.. and I can't sleep, because it's one of those migraines.

Migraines can kill, by the way. If you have a migraine for over 72 hours (three days) with less than four hours of relief in between, then you need to go to the hospital.

Otherwise, you can have a stroke. Which will kill you, depending on how much brain hemorrhage you get. I wish that I had known that two years ago, when I had a continuous thirteen day migraine.

Lucky to be alive? Yes, indeed.

So I'm helping my brother study for his history test. Pakistan Studies, yes.

The amusing part was that my.. cousin.. the one who leaves me breathless, yes.. and my brother really don't think that I can help them with history.

Which is really amusing, considering that I love history, that I've fought so many battles in history in my head and won them, and that I remember almost everything that they're doing.

But, we were going through his book-the Nigel Kelly one-and if you have it, turn to page 86.

If you don't have it, look at this picture.

See Jinnah's suit? I love it.

No idea why. Randomness, indeed.

And I'd like to thank KN here for the songs that she has on the top right corner of her blog.

Listening to calm music helps soothe the migraine.

So, tomorrow, I have an iftar party at school.

Iftar, by the way, is the time at sunset when we open our fasts.

And I've been helping organize it, in addition to substituting for teachers.
And co-ordinating the Prefects too.

So you can imagine how tired I am after having six consecutive substitutions for three teachers today. While fasting.

But first, let me tell you about something amusing that happened yesterday.

I needed to go around the classes and announce that I'd be having a meeting with the Prefects.
I asked a teacher if I he minded my coming in and announcing it.
He said yes, and waved at me to announce it.

I got confused.

So I asked him if yes, he did mind.
He didn't get it.
So while trying not to laugh, I announced it.