Dreams of the future

I close the door after I step inside. I haven't even taken a few steps forward before I hear tiny steps and my three year old son comes running to me. It's late at night, so I'm a little surprised that he's awake.
"Daddy!" He shrieks as he grabs my leg.
"Hey, buddy, where's mommy?" I pick him up and ruffle his hair.
"She's sleeping on the couch." He laughs as rests his head on my shoulder. I walk into the living room and he's right, she's asleep on the couch with various toys around her. Her hair is in a neat ponytail, and she's wearing grey sweat pants and a plain white t-shirt.

I chuckle as I gently set him down. "Have you had dinner yet?" I whisper, so I don't wake her up. He grabs the collar of my shirt with his tiny little fingers and stares at me with his bright eyes which resemble mine, "Yes, but I woke up and I want my milk bottle!"
I smile and kiss his forehead. "Let's go take care of that, then."
He wraps his arms round my neck as I pick him up again, "But, what about mommy?" He bites his little finger.

"Let her sleep for a little bit longer, she looks really tired." I take him to the kitchen and look for his milk bottle. I hear her wake up and walk into the living room, having found it.
"Hey, babe."
She rubs her eyes and smiles at me, "Why didn't you wake me up when you got home?"
"He wanted his milk, so I took care of it, I didn't want to wake you up."
As she stands up, I pull her into my arms, hugging both of them, the two most important people in my little world.

Parents always know best.

My dad was right.

He always said, "you can't trust anyone who's not in your family. Everyone else will betray you."

I always thought it was a cynical way of looking at life, and I had some hope that I could still prove him wrong, even after life showed me that people can't be trusted.

I lost faith in humanity, but I had faith in brotherhood.

Life just proved once again, that apart from your own family, no one can be trusted. Parents do know best.

Rules.

I wanna rock with somebody,
I wanna take shots with somebody,
I wanna leave with somebody.

First rule: Trust no one.
Rule broken.

Walking everybody knows what's good,
But some gonna hate, what's new?
We just do our thing, no time to waste.

Second rule: Do not get too close to anyone.
Rule broken.

And at the end of the night when the lights go out, will we turn down?
And when they try to make us leave, we turn to say we're never going home,
And you know just what I want to do.

Third rule: Do not fall in love again.
Rule not broken.

Keep it that way.

It's the clarity that comes after two week's of migraines that is scary and useful.
It's the train of thoughts that comes when I'm exhausted, having finally beaten migraines with medicines and relaxing with friends.
It's the analysis of where I am-an analysis made while driving.

I agree with the three rules. I will not suffer again.

To hurt is as human as to breathe.

I was looking forward to the Pakistan vs India cricket match today. It's in about 40 minutes, but I don't feel excited or related anymore.
Instead, I feel.. sick. Like I'm in mourning.

I'll get to why I feel that way in a bit.
Today was a really good day. Went to work, had a good day-as good a day as can be had in retail-and came home without a migraine for the first time all week.
I started doing homework while watching Netflix (watching House of Cards for the 19th time), and took a break to go on Facebook.

I saw a video that a few friends had shared.
The video was of an attack at a masjid-a place of worship for Muslims-in Peshawar.
It was a video that a person inside had taken, and it showed the terrorists firing on them and even showed one running into the masjid and blowing himself up.

It's the horror of that video that I can't get out of my head.
I want to be able to stop that kind of thing from ever happening again, to shield people from those kinds of things.
And this happened within two months of them attacking the Army Public School in Peshawar and killing children.

No parent should ever have to bury their own children.

And yet, people ask me why I've lost faith in humanity.