Karachi-365 Day Project, Day 100

I've been studying all day, and I can't focus. I know what I'm learning and how to solve the problems, but I keep staring off into the distance, and there's this.. feeling.. inside me.. that I don't want to be here.
If you do it right,
you'll love where you are.
Jason Mraz-93 Million Miles

I want to be in Karachi. I want to be with my parents, with my brothers, teaching at my old high school, driving to school, worrying about stuff like the heat and my headaches instead of being here and stressing over finances for next year, migraines, and why I feel so sad all the time.

I'm not wishing for anything here. I'm thankful for everything that I've been given. I just.. want to be in two places at once. I love learning here. I don't like the studying part, but the learning? It's so.. incredible.. how there's so much more to this world than what we see around us. There's stuff happening that we have no idea about. Flowers and bees, elements and valence shells, emergencies and 10-1's, I could keep on going and going.
I also love Karachi. I love the heat, the humidity, the traffic, the no-speed-limit, unlimited texting packages, opportunities for endless laughter..

Someone who laughs too much is lonely inside, someone who speaks less but speaks fast keeps secrets, someone who gets angry easily needs love..

I still laugh. At times. But not as much as I used to. Now, I usually laugh at comedy scenes in movies (I watch like one every month or so if I'm lucky), on skype with my family, or with friends-and I rarely get time to spend with friends.

But.. I'm not.. me.